back

on the road again!

independence.

Cold beer, burgers, and fireworks at the capital-- the best place in the world for America's birthday. Two years ago I was singing the American national anthem on a bus in New Zealand. Last year I was cheering in an underground bar in Cesky Krumlov, Czech Republic. It's kind of nice to actually be in the country for the holiday. I wonder where I'll be next time.

You try taking pictures at night while driving.

I am totally exhausted. My hand is on my stomach and it is rising and falling like someone asleep.

I had a dream that one of my ex-lovers was actually a robot that crumbled in my hands.

Oh, and the whole point of this post: (my new portfolio)
http://fawna.carbonmade.com/

portrait.

Yesterday, as I was walking back from work, a man stopped me. I didn't know him-- for some reason, homeless men are really drawn to me.

"Can you see that?" he pointed at the sky.

The sun was breaking over the clouds.

"Do you know what you're going to do now?" he asked.

I think he was insane.

"I'm sorry," he said, when I didn't say anything. "I scared you."

Monster

Last sculpture by me ever.

it's where the heart is.

friday.

I wake up very early in the morning because I like to take my time. I grind my coffee. I smell it. I grind it again. I let the french press take its time, because after all, I need the bagel to toast and the eggs to scramble. The fire alarm goes off for no reason-- I fan it just in case and it stops.

I go to the doctor. I pay $3 to park, and am frustrated. I walk dogs in the sun and even though the dogs are panting and their tongues are flapping as they bounce along, they still relentlessly push forward. The pit bull almost scratches up my arm again, and almost bites the hand off a stranger. But then he sits perfectly still for his treat and all is forgiven.

I talk to a boy that was once in love with me and then I talk to a boy that I was once in love with. I am glad that neither of those romances worked out. In a way I'm still a little in love with the boy I was once in love with because I could never have him, and I'm a little in love with the boy that was once in love with me; somehow a boy loving you makes him more lovable.

I take the metro to work. I listen to my ipod, read my book, and look as unfriendly as possible. There's a few annoying customers but most of them are pretty excellent. I apologize about our lack of foot long bully sticks, which are extremely popular-- by the way they're dried cow penises that dogs LOVE to chew on. A man knocks over the dog's water bowl and I almost giggle but swallow it and try to get the man to stop apologizing.

I take the metro back. I don't listen to my ipod and try to read my book in the most attractive fashion possible but the cute boy doesn't try anything. I realize life is not a dentyne ice commercial. I put my headphones back on and relish some abstract music. I see a picture of a bird covered in mud on a newspaper and then realize it's actually oil and would cry but I haven't in years and don't want to start now.

I laugh very hard at a good joke someone says on the radio, which I now forget, but it was very funny. I am amazed that my makeup has stayed intact throughout the entire day. I listen to my cat chirp happily. I listen to my sister squeal about her new college email address and join in the joyful celebration of something so minor. I feel very lucky.