Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Quick Moment From Today, and a Note About Love

A man walks into the store I work at, picks up a bag of food and brings it to the counter.

"What are you listening to?" he asks.

"Florence and the Machine."

"How old are you?"

I pause.

"Twenty." he pauses because he's waiting to hear another number follow it.

"That's great."

He pays and leaves.

What the hell was that all about? What an odd, and very quick conversation. It would make more sense if I were listening to an older band, and not one that has just recently come into fame and power. I should have asked how old he thought I was.. I'm always curious to know-- I'm young but I feel so goddamn old.

...

People don't think that I believe in love-- and I certainly peddle that image. I guess I just am not really that kind of girl. I don't like romantic comedies, I don't really do public acts of affection, I don't fall into the traps that girls do. I can see the romance in things but I can also see the stupidity in romance.

But what it really comes down to is that I don't believe in long-term love. I fall in love frequently, fast, and hard. I also fall out of love, frequently, fast, and hard. I fall in love with a boy on a bike as he's riding by, and out of love the second he hits the horizon line. Does this make sense to you? I don't know how to explain it properly, but maybe you already understand. I'm sure that I could stay put--it's just so hard. I can't promise anything, but I also can't write anything off. Maybe my kind of love isn't real love, but it's the only kind of love I can honestly believe in.

1 comment:

  1. I understand. Not mentally - in that stupid way that people understand words factually and then say that they understand, but I understand it in my heart. Spanish is such a better language for emotion and relation - English is all about being succinct, understood, and then pushing the person to the understand, not drawing them in to understand. Entonces, Fawna, Te siento.

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